Monday, July 21, 2008

Hairy Houdini - The Great Escape Artist

Could this dog be the next Harry Houdini?

Apparently, this little guy can escape from the stronghold that Tina and I have configured in the kitchen to corral the pups. He also found a way to escape from my mother-in-law's equally secure compound in her kitchen.

We left the house last night, sure that we had TRIPLE secured the kitchen. Chairs pushed in, check. Fence attached and no room to wiggle out of, check. Doors closed, check. An hour later...look who is outside the stronghold! LEROY!

The current theory is that, somehow, Leroy has developed the skill to climb up a fence and fall over to the other side of the fence, where he can sit on the loveseat in piece away from his fiendish brothers and goonish sister. I had forgotten that he can exhibited this once before, but we hadn't seen it in like 3 years, so I'm guessing it's a skill that only appears when need be.

We're going to do a stake-out of some sort to see if this is the case. I will discover Hairy Houdini's secrets!

Vacation - Back to Reality

Ah, back from a great week of relaxation.

Durango was freakin' awesome. Stayed at the Durango Riverside RV Park and Resort (site 17 on the map), which was right on the Animas River. Spent the first day sitting outside the trailer...doing nothing.

Actually ventured into town and had lunch at Carver Brewing Co. Awesome food, great beer. We actually went back on Wednesday and got a growler of the Hefeweizen (for me) and the Raspberry Wheat Beer (for Tina). The Raspberry beer was actually pink - very interesting. Also went to the Steamworks Brewing Co. and had a beer there. I was a bit sad because the Colorado Kolsch was out, but the Lizard Head Red was a good substitute.

Came back to NM by going through Pagosa Springs and Taos, and parked the trailer at Pendaries RV Park for the next month to store it until "the next trip". I love it up there because Pendaries doesn't have cell phone coverage, so no calls!

Two injuries during vacation - 1) I was hooking up some stuff outside the trialer and stood up into the door and got a nice gash/bruise on my shoulder; 2) I walked into an awning post similar to Tim Allen walking into the pipe in the basement on Home Improvement...nice bump on the head, thanks to that one...

Good times - gotta love vacation

Friday, July 11, 2008

Stuff White People Like

I love this website: Stuff White People Like

Take it as you will, but it is meant to be funny. There are some people who respond to the topics very seriously, like "How can you possibly associate my ethnicity with sushi/dogs/Wii/etc? This is inconceivable!"

Anyway, enjoy.

Doctor - My allergies are driving me nuts, or is it just your other patients?

I have a very nice allergy doctor - sharp, usually don't have to wait a whole lot, nurse is very pleasant, etc... So, at his recommendation, I started taking allergy shots to reduce my terrible reaction to all the stuff that causes sneezes, wheezes, snot and more sinus-y goodness.

Unfortunately, there is one thing that I can't quite avoid there: obnoxious kiddos.

Now, don't get me wrong: I like kids and kids seem to like me (I think it has to do with them realizing that I'm not all that different maturity wise...). But when I am forced to deal with screaming and crying children in mass, I don't handle it very well.

Case in point: I arrive at the Doc's office and head straight for the shot sign in sheet to minimize my wait. I get to the list and there are about 7 names with the same last name on the list before me. I turn and there is a gaggle of kids, probably ranging from 5 - 12ish. I sigh, then sit down and bury myself in Bubble Breaker. Once I get my shot, I have to wait 25 minutes to determine whether I'm going to have some sort of reaction to the injection - as to avoid me driving, having a fit in the car, and killing someone in a horrific car accident.

Of course, the second I sit down to wait for the A-OK from the nurse, it begins.

One of the older kids apparently lied to Mom about something that he had in his pocket (I'd gather a toy or something). Lying Kid proceeds to start crying and Mom responds with "Oh, don't you start crying. You lied to me and you knew what you did and if you're going to cry, I'm going to put you in the corner so that EVERYONE can see you cry." Jase is sitting there, trying to figure out how to get all the red bubbles connected to get a big bonus, but is feeling quite uncomfortable with the Mom lecturing Lying Kid and threatening the public humiliation.

Lying Kid's siblings, including Throwing Blocks Kid and I Have To Pee Kid, start to have their own issues. I especially liked I Have To Pee Kid's response to Mom saying that she can't bring "Baby" (which I think was a doll, but I didn't stare and end up coming off as some sort of weirdo) to the bathroom: "I WANT TO TAKE BABY!!!!!!!!! AAGAAGHHGAHGH!!!!!!! I NEED BABY!!!!!!!"

Ya know, I think that this sort of thing could qualify as male birth control. Think of it, no pills, no snips, no drugs - you just sit in a room with these kids for like an hour or two, and BOOM - a 95% drop in the probability you'll want kids anytime soon. Think of it as the most natural form of birth control. I may need to patent this and sell it...

Fortunately, I was released from the office before I was nuts and became a fruitcake (no, not THAT kind of fruitcake). I was getting ready to sign a legal waiver or offer a bribe if it meant cutting the time I had to wait.

Surgeon Sage Says Avoid The Syph

I was listening to Bob & Tom this morning and one of the comedians was doing a bit on condoms, which included a deal on old timey methods of contraceptives. Anyway, I found this old ad on Wikipedia and just started laughing.

It also reminded me of the line from Austin Powers - "Only sailors use condoms baby." "Not anymore, Austin." "Well, they should, the filthy beggers go from port to port."

Tina and I watched this new show on CBS called "Greatest American Dog". Some pretty freakin' talented dogs, also some freakin' bizarre people who treat their dogs like movie stars (complete with clothes, a wagon, etc... - see Beth Joy and Bella Starlet...gag). The one lady with a border collie named Leroy was confusing our Leroy (see right) because the woman kept yelling "LEROY!!! NO!!! LEROY!!!!" Poor guy. There was also a Maltese named Andrew who seemed to be the more "put together" version of our Maltese Andy. Both dogs though had one thing in common - the same dopey look in their eyes. Gotta love it.

Ah, it's Friday.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

I need my fix!!!

When I lost a bunch of weight the first go around, I did it by switching from regular cokes to diet cokes. Obviously, if something doesn't have calories, it can't at all create some sort of strange caffeine addiction or strange need to consume cold, delicious, carbonated can after can...

Well, Diet Coke/Pepsi/Coke Zero/Dr. Pepper (and all flavored variants in between!), SCREW YOU. I'm done with this. It's freaking noon and I've already had 3 diet cokes and a strong cup of coffee. Looking at my hands right now as I type, they've got a bit of a shake to them.

As of today, no mas colas (diet or otherwise)! I'll stick with water and other such noncarbonated, nonalcoholic drinks. If I start acting a, write it off as withdrawal symptoms.

If anything, better do it to avoid becoming a Hyper Active Strong Sad ...

Popped Collar

This is why I don't have a popped collar. It looks ridiculously stupid.

Holy crap! First post

I'm inspired to blog now...don't ask me why...but I am.

Part Deux of the Great 08 Weight Loss CHALLENGE!!!! just started. Due to a little...overindulgence and lazy attitude over the 4th of July, the starting weight is a bit high (like...undid 1/2 of Part 1 of the CHALLENGE!!!!), but fortunately it was vacation weight and came right off. We'll see if continues or if I'm just going to make a "donation" to one of the other challengers.

I really enjoy those "I Love the " shows that they have on VH1. Don't ask me why, but I think it has to do with looking back at things that used to be SOOOO popular, but turns out to be a fad which we look back on and laugh. Anyway, the new edition is called I Love the New Millennium - only goes to 2007 (obviously), but geez...even 2000 wasn't THAT long ago and we did some dumb stuff then. Oy.